I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
