I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize