I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
