paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
