why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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