she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
