dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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