It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
someone owes me an orgasm
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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