i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
