ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
