I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you win again, gameday.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
