i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
