I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize