In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize