Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
