I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
