Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
