i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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