i may or may not be watching the land before time
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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