Pregnant stripper...not hot.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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