Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
