Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
