im about as happy as oj after his trial
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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