If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
