someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
