Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
