when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
