i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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