Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
