my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize