i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
