She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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