bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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