yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
