i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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