considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
