I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
