I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
