i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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