Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
