Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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