Don't you send me to vm
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
