How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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