You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
