you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
