yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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