Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
