i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
