this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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