Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
