Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
