My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
