chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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